Ones of the purposes of P.E.T. and other Gordon programs is to equip parents, teachers, youth, and workplace leaders with the same helping skills that trained counselors can provide. (Yes, if you're a parent, P.E.T. could help you save money on therapy!) Effectively helping...
"He felt better. I felt better, and I put into my relationship bank right away. That concept gave me the idea that I can fix this – I don't have to self-criticize. I can change what just happened."
One of the things that first drew me to P.E.T. is that it allows for parents to be human – that is, inconsistent in their feelings and levels of acceptance for different kinds of behavior they experience from their children and from others.
P.E.T. and RIE have a common philosophy that the parent-child relationship is a two-way street that involves mutual respect and the needs of both the parent and child being met.
How do you influence someone's behavior without blaming them?
Here's an example of how my 88-year-old grandfather changed the way he was communicating after we put some P.E.T. skills to work in the garage.
It's how the conflicts are resolved that matters most. Thomas Gordon, who developed P.E.T., describes the types of conflict resolution that are available to parents.