Lee-Anne, a fellow P.E.T. instructor, made this great comment in one of our meetings this week.

When we use the Gordon Model, we're intending first of all to separate out behaviors (things you can take a picture of, or record with a microphone) from labels or interpretations of those behaviors. A behavior is something someone actually does, and the interpretation – the story about what they did and why they did it and what that means – is applied afterwards by your mind. It's influenced by your past history, the current moment, who you are, who they are, and a variety of other factors.

I feel fascinated as I explore the difference between these behaviors – things others actually said and did – and what story my mind comes up with in relationship to those behaviors. Because the truth is always inside the other person, and there's a lot of creative space available when I give myself the freedom to not know it instead of making up a story to fill the space.

Communication and storytelling require completely different skills, and one of the reasons I enjoy this work is because the former is in pretty short supply!