I love this video because it's an excellent example of one of the key concepts we learn in P.E.T. – the line of acceptance.

When you experience the behavior of a child or another person (a behavior being something you can take a picture of, or record with a tape recorder – not a label, a judgment, or an interpretation of that behavior, which is applied afterward by your mind) – it's possible to feel one of two ways toward that behavior: Accepting or unaccepting.

The Dalai Lama's description of his possible attitudes toward mosquitoes shows that how you feel – accepting or unaccepting – is influenced by a few different factors. It's not consistent. If you've had a good day, maybe you don't mind the mosquito so much.

But if you've already encountered a mosquito or two, you're less likely to feel accepting.

One of the things that first drew me to P.E.T. is that it allows for parents to be human – that is, inconsistent in their feelings and levels of acceptance for different kinds of behavior they experience from their children and from others.

We don't always feel the same from moment to moment, nor do we feel equally accepting of every person in our life. The Gordon Model accounts for that in all relationships. It's flexible and geared toward allowing them to be real in any given moment, whether it's a moment in which you feel patient and accepting, or a moment in which you're ready to swat that mosquito.