It's how the conflicts are resolved that matters most. Thomas Gordon, who developed P.E.T., describes the types of conflict resolution that are available to parents.
It's okay for parents to have strong feelings and to use those feelings to create more authentic relationships with their children. In P.E.T., we learn and practice ways to communicate those feelings that still leave the child's self-esteem intact and that work to create desired shifts in behavior.
In P.E.T., Parent Effectiveness Training, we learn skills that let everyone be a real person. Oftentimes, when people become parents, they take on a role and feel like they’re suddenly supposed to have all the answers, or be completely consistent from one moment to the next. A...
When parents use power (reward or punishment) to resolve conflicts in their relationship with their children, the child will develop other behaviors (“coping mechanisms”) in response to the use of power by the parent. These behaviors might include: 1. Resistance, defiance, rebellion, or a negative outlook. 2. Resentment, anger, and...